Tuesday, October 11, 2016


Do I just delete everything and start over?
I would, but there are so many memories on here that I know I'm not going to.

Right now, I'm sitting on my couch contemplating life changes and I realized: I want to document this. I don't know if I'll keep it up, but I want the record for me at least. Also, why am I still watching cartoons, 2 hours after little man went to bed?

As for the life changes, I'll just list them:

1.) Quit my job.
2.) Enrolled in college (again... maybe this time is the charm??)
3.) I am officially single again. For the first time in 3 years.

Now, I'm focusing on classes, Little I (who is doing AMAZINGLY btw), and losing weight. Which brings me to the reason I'm here:

I want to document this journey. I have a TON of weight to lose. We're talking over 100 lbs, closer to 200. It all came on little by little, and before I realized it, I was where I am now.

All 366 lbs of me. I started tracking my food and calories last Monday. I actually started at 371 lbs, and have lost 5 lbs just tracking those.

My plans:
1.) continue tracking my food and calories. I also want to take pictures and post those either daily or weekly (knowing me, probably weekly)
2.) start working out again. Other than walking to/from class and playing around with Isaiah, I haven't been doing any activity. That needs to change. I still have all of the workout DVD's from Bob Harper, along with a couple other ones. I'm going to start with those. And then I'll start working out at the gym on campus while Little I is in school. So I'll write a post every week on what I did, or I'll include that in the next one:
3.) post weekly weigh-ins and some progress pictures every once in a while.

I'm debating making videos (youtube) but for some reason, that seems almost impossible for me.

I'm sure I'll update on other things too, but those are the three main types of posts I want to do.

Any suggestions or tips are more than welcome.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The story of the last year.

TL/DR: Kindergarten is Hell on Earth.

This is long. Bear with me.

I used to like writing. Before life became... life.

Before having a kindergartner became fighting for his right to learn.

Fighting to keep him IN class, rather than in the hallway or in the principal's office, or, too often to be real, at my parent's house. Suspended.

That was my crash course in parenting a child with ADHD. Or rather, a child who had been targeted by an entire school system because he has ADHD.

The school district we live in is horrible. Bad reputations and bad grades from the stated. So I decided to open enroll him to another district. Huge mistake.

I remember the first phone call. The one the day after kindergarten testing.

The one that told me he was a "bright kid" but had some "issues". Namely, sitting still, staying where he was told, and listening to commands right away.

The same phone call that told me the teachers were talking after testing, and were deciding who would take which of the "trouble" kids. And Mrs. B. She said, "I want Isaiah."

At first it comforted me to think that she wanted to take him. She must have wanted to help him, right? Then I got mad. They were labeling him before he even made it into the classroom! I should have known then it would not be a good year.

The first suspension was only one day. A couple weeks into school. He had hit another kid for being "in his space".

The second suspension was for 3 days. This time, he had been playing on the monkey bars at recess. Another kid came over demanding to use them, Isaiah told him no.
That kid pushed Isaiah. Then Isaiah pushed him back, and because of the size difference (hey, my kid is a giant) they fell. Isaiah fell on top of him.

Now, no adult saw this. The kid told a recess monitor, and Isaiah, my super honest-to-a-fault little boy. Isaiah confessed. Didn't tell them that the kid pushed him first. That didn't come out until we started counseling.

The counselor helped. She's the one who suggested we have him tested for ADHD. So two weeks later, I sat at the doctor's office talking to Isaiah's doctor. The same one we've seen since he was born. At the same practice I've gone since I was his age. The nurses and doctors still remember my whole family. The doctor said he was active, but no more so than any other 5 year old.

Because he had been suspended, she agreed to look into it.

The teacher and I filled out forms describing his behavior. Hers were so off the charts, I almost thought she was describing a different kid.

I was desperate to help him, so he started medication.At first he hated it. felt like his head was fuzzy all the time.

We also started having IAT meetings. (Intervention Assistance Team) The principal,

Things were looking up. He was doing better in class. He went an entire month without a suspension.

But then, a few months later, a few suspensions later, two new medications later, and a new class/teacher later, we were worse off than I ever imagined.

He started peeing his pants. Daily. Sometimes twice.

He was aggressive. Hitting, kicking, talking back. even at home. This was never a problem before.

We thought it was the medication, but I'm not so sure.

We ended up setting up an IEP. I was naive and thought that was to help him. But the more I learned, the more I realized it was just them covering their butts.

I learned that an IEP is only for kids whose "issues" cause them to have difficulties learning, or cause problems for others.

Isaiah excelled in almost everything. He had IQ testing for the IEP. He tested at two points below what his school used for their "gifted" program. He was reading at a 3rd grade level.

But... he hated school. Begged me not to make him go.

I gave up on that year. We were weeks from the end of the year. I just wanted to finish the year and find somewhere new for him to start over.

I applied for him to go to a private Christian school where my aunt and cousin work. With a grant from the state and a partial scholarship, it's free for him to attend.

So we visited the school, gave the application, and waited. And prayed.

Two weeks after school ended, I got a letter. Isaiah was no longer allowed to come back to that school system 

So we prayed some more. Asked our church to pray.

Finally, I got another phone call. He was in!!

To be continued...

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Hello again

It has been over a year since my last post.

A year. Wow.

I'm not sure how to feel about that, other than to say that I definitely needed the break. In fact, I took a break from just about everything then. So much has happened in this year. Isaiah and I have made friends, lost some, and even made an enemy (more on that another time). We've  had some amazing times, and some awful ones, and we've grown a lot as individuals and together.

I'll hopefully be posting about once a week or more  Yeah. That didn't happen, sorry. from now on, but my first post will be the same as my last one, a year's (ish.. condensed version of what I have written down) worth of "Isaiah-isms."

So, on to the "Isaiah-isms":

Did you know that dinosaurs like the T Rex and the corithosaurus (sp) died when the volcanoes were flowing?

Mommy, did you know that some caterpillars can spend 17 days in his cocoon? A real, live caterpillar?

Did you know that the elephant is the strongest herbivore since the dinosaurs died? But the hippo is heavier.

We put it all together! Are you kidding me?! We should rule the world!!

Him: Can I sleep in your bed?
Me: No, but I'll come cuddle with you for a minute.
Him: (pouting) But I want to keep you.
Me: Why?
Him: Because you help me sleep and have good dreams.

Him: Mommy, does 4 mean stop? 
Me: No. 
Him: What about stop signs?
Me: They have 8 sides. 
Him: But they have 4 letters inside them. 

I took a baseball away from Isaiah. His response?
"Fine, then I'm not going to give you any sleep tonight."

Isaiah has informed me that after Christmas, he wants 2 sisters and 2 brothers. Yeah... good luck with that, kid.

He complained that one of the boys threw a toy at him. I asked if he was bleeding. (He wasn't)
His response: "Jesus saw me bleeding"

On the phone with my dad: "I was wondering... after I get up from my nap, can I come over so mommy can make more cookies?"

Isaiah: What are you doing, Mommy?
Me: Going upstairs to go potty.
Isaiah: Don't let the cows bite you.
Me: ....Okay.

I'm fast because I have a big powerful engine in me.
Well, I'm made of concrete. I'll never break.

"No, no, no. Underwear don't go in the dishwasher."

Isaiah: Mommy, my pweeno is broken!
Me: Your what is broken?
Isaiah: My pweeno!
Go upstairs and see the legs to his little piano came off the base. Oh. Piano.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Just a few Isaiah-isms

Isaiah is definitely starting to show his inner workings lately. He remembers so much stuff that people say or do, which really surprises me when he brings it up, because I barely remember it myself. Also, he comes up with some stuff that I know I've never said and it's also hilarious to hear him say them. So here are some things he's said lately that I remember/thought to write down:

"Isaiah: Shhh, Mommy. You'll wake the trees up."

He asked a few weeks ago why the trees didn't have leaves on them. I said they hibernate/sleep through winter, so they don't have leaves until Spring. So now that we're learning about Spring, we talked about how the trees will wake up and get leaves when they're ready.

"B*, you're a riding turtle"

Said to my little sister, as he put a pillow "saddle" on her while she was laying on the floor.

"Papa you need a little kid come with you. A special little kid. That little kid is me."

Said to my dad as he was packing to leave for a funeral in North Carolina.

"N*, what are you doing? I'm trying to be a cow, but I can't!"

Said while pretending to talk to my brother in law on a play phone. N* works on a dairy farm.

"NO!! We're never going to get there! It's too far!"

Said (in a distraught voice) to my mom while she was driving him to church for Awana. 

"I'm going to call my Mama 'cause you are NOT listening."

I guess you can infer why he was saying this. He was not getting his way. Haha.
"Let's sing the 'Jesus Uh-Ah' song."

Aka, Jesus Messiah. Isaiah's favorite song for us to sing/Papa to play. He has since learned to say the full name. Just another part of growing up. Sigh. 

"You're my hero, red tractor."

Isaiah was playing with his tractors and I overheard "them" talking. John Deere tractor to Case IH tractor. Haha. 

*I don't put anyone's name on here unless they tell me I can. Just the first letter. Deal with it.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

My day in a nutshell

Isaiah was wonderful all morning.

Then we went to Robeks to meet K for him to be all lawyerly and sign a paper for me.
When we got halfway there, I realized I had forgotten said paper. So we went back home, got the paper, and then came back to Robeks, late.

Then there was an irate woman in front of us causing a fuss about some giftcards, she took 20 minutes, which got us free smoothies, but made K even later to meet his wife. (Oops, sorry!!)

Then I got the paperwork notarized, went to the courthouse and found out (after being sent in all different directions) that I needed Isaiah's birth certificate.

So off we went to my parents' house, got the birth certificate, and back to the courthouse we went. I said goodbye to $117 of my money (and another $35 soon to follow), and hello to a court date in May to change Isaiah's last name to mine. Then went back to mom and dad's house, dad took Isaiah and I went to class, then church, where Isaiah was a nut so we had to leave early.

And now, I'm supposed to be studying for an exam that I need to take in 8 hours. At least it's over stuff I learned in two other classes I took last year.

So, now I will leave you with this wonderful robot I made from "chocolate" (honey and cocoa powder, but don't tell Isaiah that) on Isaiah's PB&J sandwich.